From: myki Customer Care
To: Oolon Colluphid
Date: 20 October 2010
Dear Oolon,
Due to a recent auto top up failure of $10.00 on your myki (card number ███████), your myki has been blocked. [Oops. I ran kinda low in my debit account. No big deal, I'll just top up manually.] We require your account to be topped up with this amount and then your myki be returned in order for us to re-activate your myki. [What?] Please be advised that we are unable to electronically unblock your myki after receiving your online payment. In the future, we hope to have this functionality to unblock a myki electronically. [But you have the functionality to block one?]
The $10.00 was added to your myki balance on the 16/10/10, but we were unable to deduct this payment from your credit card. [Seriously? Who thought it would be a good idea to credit my account before payment was cleared? And did it seriously not occur to anyone to, I don’t know, simply cancel the erroneous credit even if the system was that stupid?] After we have returned your myki, unblocked, please update your credit card details for Auto top up if they have changed.
You can make the $10.00 credit card payment on your website account. Just go to” Manage my card” and you will see the Debt Settlement page, from there you just follow the prompts.
Please post your myki to the following address, to ensure quick return of your myki. A stamp is not required, as this is a reply paid post box.
myki Customer Care
Reply Paid ███
LAW COURTS VIC 8010
We apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused.
myki — it’s your key. [Not if you just changed the locks on me it isn't.]
Regards,
myki Customer Care Team
From: myki Customer Care
To: Oolon Colluphid
Date: 21 October 2010
Dear Oolon,
Thank you for settling the debt resulting from a recent auto top up failure.
You may be unaware, that we are unable to electronically unblock your myki after receiving your online payment. [You emailed me yesterday to tell me so. I admit that someone with a stronger allergy to bullshit than mine might have taken 24 hours to process the mindbuggering stupidity involved here, but either way reminding me isn’t going to help.] In the future, we hope to have this functionality to unblock a myki electronically.
We aim to return your myki to you unblocked as soon as possible. Please post your myki to the following address. There is no need for a stamp as this is a reply paid post box.
myki Customer Care
Reply Paid ███
LAW COURTS VIC 8010
We thank you for your patience and cooperation regarding this matter.
Regards,
myki Customer Care Team
From: Oolon Colluphid
To: myki Customer Care
Date: 21 October 2010
I was not informed that my myki would be blocked should an electronic payment fail to go through, nor of this fault in the system that requires me to post it in, when I bought my myki. For that matter, I find it quite implausible that it can be blocked remotely but not unblocked in the same manner. I will find it very inconvenient to be without the card even if it were returned in the post the day after I send it, and I've been informed by a friend that this happened to him and his myki was not returned for several weeks. I think you appreciate that I would rather not take that chance. If you are genuinely unable to unblock my card remotely, I request that you send me a replacement card instead.
I appreciate your prompt reply.
What.
Anyone else think this is as ridiculous as I do? It’s the 21st century, guys. Get on the ball.
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